How are you all?
I'm actually back from the holidays (Croatia, partially with a friend, and Spain, where I met some cool ppl and will tell you more on some other time) a few hours ago :) but I really felt like I wanted to pop up and say hi.
First off I want to thank all of my affectionate friends here for all the love, as I've recently tweeted. You've been there and checked on me the whole time and really reading your mails and textes these past days has been a nice and soothing treat, since I wasn't going through the easiest of times, also as in self esteem, and your words filled my heart, knowing that you were missing me here. Really just a big heartfelt thank you, it ment a lot to me.
Sorry for being so inconsistent, I know I'm this way and sometimes life just leads you elsewhere. I could never be a good or pro blogger, since I really can't tell when I'll feel like posting.
Well, here's a little quick life update to start with, before we jump into more fun things.
- Didn't go well with the guy I dated. We really just hang out a couple of times but we would talk on the phone and mail and I got really into him, like really, as it didn't happen to me since a while, but he basically has some major health and psychological issues so he can't seem to care or be able to hang out in a normal way. In the end I just recently told him how I felt and he hasn't even been able to give me a decent, straight answer as in: yes or no. I care vs. I don't give a shit, so, after a long ups and downs trying not to think about him and falling again anyway, I've decided to cut it out. I need to start going after positive and caring guys, brains are just not enough.
This was my look for our second date/third hangout:
- This summer was tedious. I felt tired and stressed out after one year, but the summer time unexpectedly made me feel way worse. I've recently started to often feel like major depression, nothing scary but worse then ever for me and I feel like I'm going nowhere with my life and like people don't care or don't understand and that I also never feel like I find my happy place. I'm pretty confused on what to do right now and will need to try and put myself and my life back together in the near future, I come from a very bad breakdown in the past days during the holidays. I don't even know where I'm going and, what's worse, what is it that I really want. I feel like finding love and peace is going to be the hardest thing for me. Don't worry though, I'm still the fighter and happiness seeker I've always been.
On a happier note:
- Job's always non fix, non carreer oriented and non well paid, but I did a cool workshop with school kids where we've been writing a short sci-fi movie and now a director, the son of famous special effects oscar winner Rambaldi (E.T., Alien & King Kong's puppets) is going to work with us to shoot it! These are my new, very professional glasses. I've never felt as beautiful wearing glasses as I do now.
- I've got myself a KITTEN!!!!!!! :) :) <3 <3 I've named her Yuki, as the cat in the short animation movie: "Beyond" inside the "Animatrix" collection, inspired by the universe of the movie "The Matrix", which blew my mind. She has quickly filled my life and is a huge part of why my summer was so weird, since I had / wanted to stay home with her while she still was young as my parents were travelling in July. She was about six weeks when I got her and she's now about five months old. She came to many places with me cause I want to grow her up as a traveller as I am so she will follow me around, and now it's the first time we split cause I had / wanted to fly to Spain for a couple of weeks and she's now with my brother and her cousin cat, but I miss her sooooooooooooooo much and can't wait to have her back with me. She keeps me so much company and gives me so much love, allthough she's pretty wild and not so affectionate, but she sleeps with me and looks for me when I'm not in the room, even wanting to follow me at the toilet! I love love love her and I'm discovering what it's like to love someone you need to look after. She's kind of ruined my hands though, cause she loves to fight with them and bite me.
Here are a few pictures of her, since she first came home with me to very recently.
HER FIRST DAY WITH ME:
OUR FIRST 3 MONTHS TOGETHER
MORE LIFE WITH YUKI:
Ok guys, this is all for now, but in Madrid I felt like a little girl in a candy shop: I stayed in the shopping core of the town and couldn't resist soooooooo I'll be back soon with some HUGE hauls!!!!